The Encyclopedia of Interactive Performance

Have you ever seen two people in a restaurant who are totally into each other? They mirror each other. Their bodies are in similar positions. When one leans forward, the other does too. They both take a drink at the same time. The fact is, when people feel connected, they tend to mirror each other.

Interestingly, this principle can also be applied in reverse. When you mirror others, they feel more connected with you. Knowing this comes in handy when you are looking to build (or break) rapport with spects. There are three things you can mirror in others: physicalities, voices, and perspectives.

Physical mirroring – Physical mirroring is just what it sounds like. When they tilt their head, so do you. If they cross their ankles, you do the same. It may feel blatantly obvious what you’re up to, but it’s not. Spects are usually focused on other things. If they’re not looking for physical mirroring, spects seldom realize that it’s happening. There’s also a way to make your mirroring even less obvious. Shift your body when your character has a new thought or emotion. The new idea or feeling justifies the change in your physical position.

Vocal mirroring – Vocal mirroring is a more challenging skill. It involves adjusting two things in your voice: tone and tempo. The tone refers to the pitch, quality, and strength. If the spect speaks in a deep voice, use your lower register. If there’s a nasal quality to the spect’s voice, let yours be a bit nasal too. Keep the tonal shift subtle. You can be more obvious with your vocal tempo. If they’re a fast talker, you speak quickly as well. If there’s a fluid quality to their speech, let your voice be languid. Mirroring the tone and tempo may feel awkward at first because it seems so fake. Just remember that spects may not know your normal speaking voice. Even if they do, they’re usually more focused on themselves.

Perspective mirroring – The third form of mirroring is the most powerful—mirroring the spect’s perspective. Your character holds the same values and opinions as the spect. If they like old movies, so do you. If they think global warming is hooey, you couldn’t agree more. Mirroring spects’ opinions and values is quite obvious and runs the risk of your coming across as a brown-noser. You can avoid this by doing something other than agreeing with them. Instead, share new information that aligns with their perspective. In this way you’re clearly on the same page without having to say so.

Loretta has expressed her frustration that men don’t treat women like ladies any more. Sarah nods knowingly and tells Loretta about the man from work who invited her out to lunch, and then expected her to pay for her own meal.

Another way to mirror spects’ perspectives is to embody their default modes. Thinker or feeler, leader, follower, or loner—your character’s way of engaging the world is the same as theirs.

Because mirroring is such an effective way to build a bond, it’s often used to establish buddy characters. No matter what role you’re playing, when you need to build rapport with a spect, mirroring is a subtle and effective way to build that sense of connection.