The Encyclopedia of Interactive Performance

Your work is not you. It’s tempting to feel good about yourself when you succeed. The problem is that you then feel awful about yourself when you fail. You can become more comfortable with failure by treating it as something outside of you. Here’s a process that may prove helpful when failure occurs.

Step 1: Pay clinical attention to your body when you fail. What does it feel like in your stomach, in your shoulders, in your eyes, in your face? Do a mental inventory of the physical tensions that show up when you fail, then breathe into those areas and relax. Condition your body to be relaxed when failure shows up.

Step 2: Write down what was difficult or frustrating as objectively as possible. For example: When playing Soundball, I got stuck trying to think of a sound to say. Get the failure outside of your head by writing it down.

Step 3: Look for a tool to address the problem. Tools can be found in many places: books, the internet, instructors, fellow players. Find a tool to address the thing you failed at. Write that down too.

Step 4: Schedule a time in your calendar when you’re going to practice using the tool. Put it in writing. If you need a partner to practice, get that person on board.

Step 5: Practice using the tool that addresses the thing you failed at. Practice with drills, not scene work. Make yourself focus on repeated use of the tool. Do it again, and again, and again. Make the tool a habit so you don’t have to think about it.

Here’s a recap of steps to deal with failure:

1. Release “failure tension” in your body.
2. Write down what was difficult.
3. Find a tool to address the difficulty, and write it down.
4. Schedule time to practice using the tool.
5. Practice the tool; drill until it becomes a habit.

What if you practice with a tool, but the difficult thing isn’t getting any easier? If you’ve been drilling a tool three times a week for a month and you’re not seeing any progress, look for a different tool. Not every tool works equally well for everyone. Find the tools that work for you.